At The Elite Bar

Under (will be as long as I am alive and have inet) construction!

The first visit - everyone has to begin somehow...
Commander! Want to get the best brown in Galaxy? Try BeBeCe [-8,-11]

Start of #theelitebar buffer: Sat Oct 20 00:49:55 2001
*** Now talking in #theelitebar
*** Topic is 'www.bee-team.demon.co.uk/teb'
*** Set by Bee-Keep on Fri Oct 12 23:09:34
<Bee-Keep> Evening.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Good evening.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I'd like to get one brown, please.
* Bee-Keep hands Sharn a pint of Brown.
<Bee-Keep> There you go. No charge.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Wow! How generous.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Thanks
* Bee-Keep clears up the empty glasses around Brianetta.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Today I had definitely a good landing - the moss
  is unpredictable.
<Bee-Keep> If you're lucky, you'll hit some rock.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Last time I tried to land my Moray I nearly got
  down in the marsh.
<Sharn-Lugonn> But it gets better... I have found a nice rock to
  land on.
<Bee-Keep> Good for you. There's a few good places going spare
  these days.
* Bee-Keep lifts Brianetta's head off the bar for a moment to
  collect some old beer mats.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That's probably true. I just got sick of all that
  recycled water in my ship and wanted to get som real drink. But
  it is a nice place..
<Sharn-Lugonn> I mean this bar, of course.
<Bee-Keep> Glad to here it. It's good to see a new face around
  here.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I like it here so I will probably visit this nice
  place on a regular basis.
<Sharn-Lugonn> The wood is no doubt of organic origin, no synth -
  that's the advantage of not being in the core systems. Am I
  right?
<Bee-Keep> Absolutely!
<Bee-Keep> No sythetic materials here at all!
<Bee-Keep> Even this set of plastic spoons is 100% organic.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Last time I visited Earth it was quite a dull
  place. Looks like Delta Pavonis' outdoor world - just can't
  remember the name.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Do you leave this planet sometimes?
<Bee-Keep> I don't get out that way much, anymore. I can't say I
  regret that.
<Bee-Keep> Sometimes I go on holiday to nearby systems.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So a nice planetbound lifestyle, huh?
<Bee-Keep> It's a big world.
* Bee-Keep cleans some glasses.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Erhm, four persons in this bar including yourself
  and the security cam isn't many. How is the attendance?
<Bee-Keep> Very poor at the moment. We're at the bottom of a
  cycle.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Sorry to hear that. Is it going to be better?
<Bee-Keep> Sometimes it's up, sometimes down. It might pick up
  later on.
<Bee-Keep> Eventually. Once in a while you get a length of time
  when everyone's busy at once.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Do you have some ads or just let the commanders
  find this place themselves?
<Bee-Keep> This place has been around long enough to have
  something of a reputation among discerning commanders, but if
  things are quiet for a while I might run some adverts on EBBS.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, that is true - I have heard about this place
  recently so I decided it would be nice to have a closer look at
  it.
<Bee-Keep> It's a pity it's so quite.
<Bee-Keep> Hardly the best advert for it. Keep coming back,
  though, and things will pick up.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I will - when I will be able to. Next friday I
  will be doing some passenger transport so I will not be here,
  but the next friday is sure.
<Bee-Keep> That's fine. Even I'm not here every week. I was
  attacked by a giant owl the week before last. And the week
  before that. These things happen.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So there are owls on this wetland world - and even
  giant ones?
<Bee-Keep> Last year an owl called Old Mr. Brown (no connection,
  he says) came to life in the rafters. Since then, it's all got
  a bit out of hand.
<Bee-Keep> The giant ones are the latest development. I can't say
  I'm pleased, but I suppose they have as much right as anyone.
<Bee-Keep> God knows what they eat.
* Bee-Keep looks up into the rafters.
<Bee-Keep> Best not to walk around wearing hats in the shape of
  giant rodents.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That may be some kind of a mystery - I don't think
  owls like fishing. And I am not sure what else they can find.
* Bee-Keep lifts Brianetta's head and turns it to the other side.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Dead or alive?
<Bee-Keep> We don't have any other giant creatures.
*** Cmdr_Rollo has joined #Theelitebar
* Cmdr_Rollo strolls in
<Bee-Keep> Sleeping.
<Bee-Keep> Ah!
<Bee-Keep> Evening, Rollo.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Evening folks!
<Sharn-Lugonn> Good evening!
<Cmdr_Rollo> anything happening?
<Bee-Keep> Rollo, meet Commander Sharn-Lugonn. Sharn, this is
  Commander Rollo.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Nice to meet you.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Hi Sharn-Lugonn, so you are new here or what?
<Bee-Keep> Other than the welcome arrival of this new commander,
  nothing.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, I am here for the first time -
<Cmdr_Rollo> cool. Not very crowded though...
* Bee-Keep puts a pint of Brown on the bar for Rollo.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I have noticed that. It's a pity.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Thanks Bee
* Bee-Keep is still taking a long-term view of things.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Yeah, the popoularite tend to go in waves...
* Bee-Keep rubs his eyes.
<Bee-Keep> Like whales.
<Sharn-Lugonn> What kind of taste is that Unknown tm in Mr
  Sunshine?
<Bee-Keep> Perhaps a bit more publicity wouldn't hurt.
<Cmdr_Rollo> ummm yeah... or Bass
<Bee-Keep> Sort of hard to describe.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Unknown remains unknown..
<Cmdr_Rollo> Some sort of lime I'v olways immagined....
<Bee-Keep> Like the taste of, erm... book-binding glue mixed with
  molybdenum. And porpoise clippins'.
<Bee-Keep> Or was that something else?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Sounds good - and you have only the one bottle
  that keeps reappering?
* Bee-Keep rummages around under the bar for the bottle.
<Bee-Keep> That's what my Public Relations Consultant told me.
<Bee-Keep> "Go with the reappearing brands - it's the future!" it
  said.
<Cmdr_Rollo> that makes some kind of sense...
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, that sunds futuristic enough.
* Bee-Keep finds the bottle and pours out a glass of Mr. Sunshine.
* Cmdr_Rollo wrinkles his nose at the glass
<Bee-Keep> The company was taken over last year by a firm that
  makes rubber tubes.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So there are some new, should I say "features"?
<Bee-Keep> The reappearing has been unpredicatable ever since.
  Thankfully, no-one ever asks for it.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
* Cmdr_Rollo wonders if he will ever finish that teb crowd
  images. probably not...
<Bee-Keep> Lately the squirrels have been learning to sing in
  German. Although that's not as new as I thought.
<Bee-Keep> And I changed a lightbulb last tuesday.
<Bee-Keep> That one.
* Bee-Keep points.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Do they have little leatherhosens..?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Shines like a new one..
<Bee-Keep> It has energy saving features. It turns itself off in
  the dark.
<Cmdr_Rollo> the squirrels that is, not the lightbulbs
<Sharn-Lugonn> Really useful...
* Cmdr_Rollo marvels at the fantastic BeBeCe inventions
<Bee-Keep> I'll say!
<Bee-Keep> I wonder how I live without these new-fangled gadgets.
<Bee-Keep> And then I remember that so-called inflammable coal.
<Bee-Keep> It was supposed to prevent accidents in storage.
<Cmdr_Rollo> not a success that one....
<Bee-Keep> Yes, Lederhosen is part of the act. And
  piano-accordians.
* Cmdr_Rollo listens in amazement
<Bee-Keep> And some upbeat Lieder! Uber alle ist Karnival, as
  they say.
<Sharn-Lugonn> But there haven't been any accidents in the area
  of coal scuttle?
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Bee-Keep> Well....
<Bee-Keep> ...
<Sharn-Lugonn> Hm?
<Bee-Keep> ...
<Cmdr_Rollo> It's classified.
<Bee-Keep> We try... that is, it.. yes.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Hard to say.
<Bee-Keep> Best to leave things open on that front. Not to count
  the Nightjars before they hatch, and everything.
<Bee-Keep> I've said too much already.
<Cmdr_Rollo> scary :-/
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Right, quite... strange.
<Bee-Keep> Lately, I've been eating breakfast cereal at dusk.
  Just to be on the safe side, if you know what I mean.
<Bee-Keep> I hope you don't. Do you?
<Cmdr_Rollo> I sure don't
<Sharn-Lugonn> No, just in the morning.
<Bee-Keep> Good. That's all alright then. No need to be alarmed.
  Forget I said it.
* Cmdr_Rollo thinks Bee is strange...sometimes
<Sharn-Lugonn> Commander Rollo, can I have a technical question?
<Cmdr_Rollo> sure
* Bee-Keep makes a mental note to try harder.
* Bee-Keep cleans the bar.
<Sharn-Lugonn> What do you think about Wywern Explorer?
<Cmdr_Rollo> It looks like shit
<Sharn-Lugonn> I consider buying one.
<Cmdr_Rollo> and it isn't very good. But not completely bad either
<Sharn-Lugonn> I find my Moray quite old - but it looks cool.
<Cmdr_Rollo> AH! a fellow Moray owner! great
<Sharn-Lugonn> What colour is your Moray?
<Cmdr_Rollo> You can view it here: http://www.siroccostation.com/i
  mages/papermodels/papermoray-small.gif
<Sharn-Lugonn> A nice one. Mine is painted deep-purple.
<Cmdr_Rollo> nice. I used to have a green one before, but that
  one got waxed by some pirates
<Sharn-Lugonn> And what do you usually do with your ship - what
  kind of profession?
<Cmdr_Rollo> hmm I'm retired from space-faring nowadays. I run a
  shipping company on Merlin
<Cmdr_Rollo> Just quick tours over to BeBeCe once in a while ;)
<Sharn-Lugonn> Mine is still frequently used.
<Cmdr_Rollo> dare I ask how?
<Sharn-Lugonn> I just like to travel around the Galaxy - do some
  trading and destroy a few pirates... a peaceful life.
<Cmdr_Rollo> ah... the memories
<Cmdr_Rollo> Bee used to be a Krait pilot. I think his ship is
  still parked around here somewhere
<Bee-Keep> Well, _under_ here somewhere.
<Bee-Keep> Lately, I've lost it.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Sure I will check the Krait on my way out.
<Cmdr_Rollo> it sunk?
<Bee-Keep> It'll drift back.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Oh, not good.
<Bee-Keep> Everything usually does.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So you don't know when it will be available to see?
<Cmdr_Rollo> It isn't much to see. Rather rusty...
<Bee-Keep> See?
* Bee-Keep thinks.
<Sharn-Lugonn> An oldtimer...
<Bee-Keep> Unless I made it an Experience... with some life-size
  wax models!
<Bee-Keep> I could run tours.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Nice, it will help your business surely.
<Cmdr_Rollo> good idea
* Cmdr_Rollo thinks of a project for x-mas. making a Cobra 3 in
  gingerbread
<Bee-Keep> Good idea!
<Sharn-Lugonn> Wow, I can try that one!
*** rabidviXen has joined #theelitebar
<Sharn-Lugonn> When I think of the Krait - I used to fly in
  smaller ships, when I started flying.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Hi Jannah!
* rabidviXen walks in.
<Bee-Keep> Evening, Jannah.
<rabidviXen> Hi there, nice to see more faces this week ...
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<rabidviXen> Good evening Bee (sorry about suggesting another
  day) nice to see you too!
<rabidviXen> I decided to warp in because a project I'm working
  on just does not seem to be working.
<Bee-Keep> If it involves prattling on about owls, we could help.
<rabidviXen> Total Galactic Domination ... nothing big. Just the
  usual "take over the universe" type stuff.
* rabidviXen yawns.
<rabidviXen> Oh, Bee ... Look! No frell grenades tonight!
* Bee-Keep smiles.
* Cmdr_Rollo looks frightened anyway
<Sharn-Lugonn> What to expect?
<Bee-Keep> That's good, then.
<rabidviXen> Be scared ... be very scared indeed. I had a packet
  of dry-roasted peanuts on the way in.
<Cmdr_Rollo> horrid!
<Sharn-Lugonn> Oh, no!
* rabidviXen pulls out a small sensor device and scans
  Sharn-Lugonn intently.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
* rabidviXen Hmmmm ... definitely a species I've never seen
  before.
<rabidviXen> Unusual.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Me?
<Cmdr_Rollo> Should we eat him?
<rabidviXen> Yes, fascinating.
<rabidviXen> No! No!
<rabidviXen> Don't EAT him!
<Sharn-Lugonn> At least no offense!
<rabidviXen> He's not a fully paid up member of the bar yet!
<Cmdr_Rollo> ah damn... (Rollo remembers the roasted Tharg. drone
  fondly)
<rabidviXen> No offense intended.
<Bee-Keep> Yes he is.
<rabidviXen> So, Bee ... we expecting anyone else in tonight?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Ok.
<Bee-Keep> All you have to do is walk through the door. And stay.
<Bee-Keep> Expecting? No.
<Bee-Keep> I don't expect anything.
* rabidviXen walks to the bar and finds a seat there.
*** norman_mosser has joined #theelitebar
<rabidviXen> Bee-keep, gimme a frosted centurian freezi-alc?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Erhm, should I introduce myself or you like to
  keep guessing?
<Bee-Keep> Except the unexpected. Like giant owls and suchlike.
  I'm pretty much resigned to that.
* rabidviXen glances in Mosser's direction
<rabidviXen> Hi Norman.
<Bee-Keep> You see? Don't expect anything and they come rolling
  in.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Hi Mosser!
* norman_mosser burst in through the florr throwing wood
  splinters and floorboards in his wake
* Bee-Keep hands Jannah a glass of AntiFreeze.
<norman_mosser> Hi all
* Bee-Keep looks at Mosser.
* Cmdr_Rollo covers behind a table
* rabidviXen pulls out a fake FRELL GRENADE and smiles at Mosser.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Hi!
<Cmdr_Rollo> ARRGH!
<rabidviXen> Now, play nice or I'll vaporize you.
<Bee-Keep> Ahhhgh.
<norman_mosser> Hi. A pint of Brown please Bee
* Bee-Keep hands Norman a pint of Brown.
* rabidviXen puts away the fake FRELL GRENADE.
<norman_mosser> Thanx Bee
* Cmdr_Rollo steps over to the bar
* rabidviXen pulls out a small data terminal and brings up a
  picture on it.
* norman_mosser quaffs
<Bee-Keep> That'll be the price of a few floorboards.
<rabidviXen> Its home ... well, kinda. Pseudoreality called OKC:
  http://kwtv.rigroup.com/bricktown.htm
<Bee-Keep> Mind you, you did that quire neatly.
* norman_mosser hands over a credit chip.
<rabidviXen> Yes, he did, didn't he.
<rabidviXen> Must have seen the Panther with "Berihn Shipping"
  painted down the side, outside.
<norman_mosser> And that should cover the nails as well.
<Bee-Keep> Thanks.
<rabidviXen> Kinda gives the game away, really.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Could I have one of those Mint surprises Bee?
<rabidviXen> Yes, the company motto reads ... "Berihn Shipping
  ... through astroid storm and ion blast, we sail the currents
  of space ..."
<rabidviXen> "... through imploding nebula and dust clouds we
  travel all the day ..."
<Sharn-Lugonn> A nice motto.
* Bee-Keep searches around under the bar.
<Cmdr_Rollo> I thought it was: "We get it there eventually..."
<rabidviXen> "... we get it there --- eventually."
* Cmdr_Rollo sniggers
<rabidviXen> Well, I used to advertize that I could get the
  average ground-stomper anywhere (excluding alpha centauri) in
  three weeks flat ...
* Bee-Keep hands Rollo a pint of mint surprise.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Does this good-sounding motto help your business
  much?
<norman_mosser> Sharn: Don't think I've seen you here before
* Cmdr_Rollo muses contently
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, I'm new.
<rabidviXen> ... but pirates put paid to that promise. So we were
  obliged by the legal department to add "eventually."
<norman_mosser> Everyone is new once. It happens
<rabidviXen> Yes, it does. Well, we own a 85% stock option in
  several arms companies and a 37% share in Imperial Earnings, a
  nice little earner for my eventual retirement.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Wow, what a surprise! I never suspected 'THAT'
<norman_mosser> You'll be fine...
<norman_mosser> ...as long as you don't order lager
<Bee-Keep> Really?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Nice to look also into future. Neverthless, I
  don't do that.
<Cmdr_Rollo> Now I know why they call them 'Mint Surprises'
<Bee-Keep> You were surprised? Really?
* Bee-Keep is surprised.
<rabidviXen> Well, a girls got to invest. I mean, who wants to
  end up living on a rock in some distant system? I mean, where's
  the romance in that? I plan to take it all with me with I go.
<Cmdr_Rollo> You bet. That thing that did, you know...? and the
  aftertaste of.. I mean WOW!
* rabidviXen sniggers.
<rabidviXen> I'm the vindictive type. A nine hundred tonne
  planet-buster for a tomb. When I go BOOM, so does everything
  else.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And what about the Bubbles?
<rabidviXen> That way I get to take it with me ... oh, don't tell
  anyone about the Imperial accounts ... word could get around.
<norman_mosser> I couldn't do that. The number of times I've been
  killed, there would be no galaxy left
<rabidviXen> Bubbles? Excuse me?
<Sharn-Lugonn> The large metal globes or what it is with Casimir
  drives.
* rabidviXen looks around at the 'newbie' and grins.
<Bee-Keep> You're excused.
* Cmdr_Rollo rises from his stool
* Bee-Keep hands Sharn another free pint of Brown.
<rabidviXen> Well ... those never appealed to me.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Oh, thanks. Am I thirsty..
<norman_mosser> Rollo: I hope you wipe your arse
<Cmdr_Rollo> Sorry people, large exam coming up next week, have
  to study.
<Bee-Keep> Night, Rollo.
<rabidviXen> Oh, sorry to see you go.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Good night.
<rabidviXen> Goodnight commander, study well.
<norman_mosser> Good luck
<Cmdr_Rollo> G'night! Catch you next friday!
*** Cmdr_Rollo has quit IRC (Quit: awaaaaaaaaaaaay!)
* rabidviXen pulls out a matter transmitter and points it at
  Cmdr. Rollo.
<rabidviXen> That seeks to work okay.
<norman_mosser> what does?
<rabidviXen> Or, is that 'seems'?
<Sharn-Lugonn> And what does it exactly do?
<Bee-Keep> As well as my new lightbulb, anyway.
<rabidviXen> The matter transmitter. I found it recently on an
  old wreck. Could be imperial issue ... remember that business
  on Reidquat?
<Sharn-Lugonn> What business do you mean?
<Bee-Keep> The one that did musical shoes?
<rabidviXen> Oh, I and a bunch of other commanders were kidnapped
  by Imperial agents and placed in deep underground Imperial pens
  on Reidquat. Know where that is?
* rabidviXen glances at the new commander.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes.
<rabidviXen> Ah, so you've been there?
* norman_mosser looks at his boot momentarily
<Sharn-Lugonn> I have been there several times - a nice place
  when you don't need to be in the ship flying in the space.
<rabidviXen> I'm from Diso ... commander in chief of Longhaul
  Outpost, the premier stopping off point in the Diso system.
* Bee-Keep used to sell musical shoes to one of the rebel
  factions on Waterloo.
<rabidviXen> Bee, we all have our problems ... yes, I remember
  the shoe uprising.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I'm from Lave. Well,
<rabidviXen> Those heels were murder on my ankles!
<Bee-Keep> They're odd people. All you have to do is sell them
  something novel, and they're off.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Luxurious goods?
<rabidviXen> Lave, so is the government as corrupt as I hear? Its
  been fifteen years since  was last there?
<Bee-Keep> Well, as long as the sun was shining.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Probably yes. I haven't been there a year or so.
* rabidviXen punches up a new page on the galactiweb - Alioth.net
<Bee-Keep> I used to play chess with Walden.
<norman_mosser> did you win?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Alioth is a kind of my new home.
<Bee-Keep> No.
<Bee-Keep> Never.
<Bee-Keep> I can't play chess very well, and he has... experience.
<rabidviXen> I've been monitoring the SOL media system. did you
  know that the U.S. is actually sending out messages in
  different languages in which the key commentary is "resistance
  is futile ..."
<norman_mosser> a ken and a skill beyond his apparent years
* rabidviXen vaults over the bar, whips out a blaster and points
  it at the owl on the ceiling.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I don't visit Sol and don't really care what is
  going on there.
<rabidviXen> Okay Bee, nobody move and nobody sees me vap the
  owl, okay!?
<Sharn-Lugonn> A giant one?
* rabidviXen helps herself to a large Sryian Panther Sweat.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<norman_mosser> Sharn: Fair enough. I'm not allowed to enter the
  core systems on pain of death at the moment
* rabidviXen valuts back again and smiles.
<Bee-Keep> All you had to do was ask.
<rabidviXen> Ah, its murder getting served around here. Well,
  normally ...
<Sharn-Lugonn> So what annoys them about you, Cmdr Norman?
* rabidviXen winks at Bee, hoping that he will see the joke.
<Bee-Keep> That's a sure fire way to lose favour with owls.
<Bee-Keep> Which can be more of a problem than I thought.
<norman_mosser> Bee, may I have a pint of Syrian Panther Sweat
  please?
<rabidviXen> Sorry, Bee. Old space-pirate mentality. Get in fast,
  threaten people and get out fast with the goods. Can't help
  myself!
* rabidviXen grins.
* Bee-Keep hands Norman a pint of BeBeCean Nightjar Sweat.
<Sharn-Lugonn> A good policy...
<norman_mosser> Sharn: well, I sort of was a ringlader in a minor
  disturbance
<norman_mosser> Thanx Bee
* rabidviXen almost chokes on her drink!
<Bee-Keep> That stuff's not cheap.
<rabidviXen> MINOR DISTURBANCE!!!
<norman_mosser> ...which turned into a major one
<rabidviXen> Jovus-priest! You called insurrection a 'minor
  disturbance?'
<Sharn-Lugonn> They don't like me either - since I helped the
  Thargoids a bit... and INRA - needless to say.
<rabidviXen> Oh, lord ... let me count the ways ...
<norman_mosser> Well considering Nomura's actions...
<rabidviXen> Nomura (Coooooooooooorrrr).
* rabidviXen grins.
* rabidviXen slaps norman_mosser around a bit with a large trout
<rabidviXen> Ah, needed that!
* norman_mosser looks puzzled momentarily
* rabidviXen <subspace nobody else is listening chatter: I'll
  email you with the LHO materials next week>
* norman_mosser <using psychic powers: OK>
<Sharn-Lugonn> May I ask about the source of your puzzlement?
<rabidviXen> So, Sharn-Lugonn, how long have you been a Elitist,
  and more to the point, which universes have you served time in?
<norman_mosser> but anyway
<Sharn-Lugonn> I have been flying since 3200, I think.
<rabidviXen> No puzzlement. Simply attempting to identify your
  potential. I started out with Cobra's when they still made
  extended cago bays and atmospheric shielding was practically
  unavailable.
<norman_mosser> something fishy just happened, that's all.
<rabidviXen> So, we you can see, I've been around for a while.
* rabidviXen winks at the newbie.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, that times I haven't seen...
* norman_mosser mumbles 'and about a bit'
<Sharn-Lugonn> But I know about that times from history lessons.
* norman_mosser pulls a pendant from under his T shirt
* rabidviXen can't believe its been seventeen years ...
<norman_mosser> see this. genuine fragment of Jameson's Cobra
<norman_mosser> cost me a fortune
<rabidviXen> Genuine? You buy that on Zaonce?
<rabidviXen> I bet it did!
<Sharn-Lugonn> OOH! How did you get that?
<norman_mosser> some mysterious man with a beard and an eastern
  accent sold it to me
<norman_mosser> his shop was gone the next when I went back to
  look for him
<rabidviXen> You're probably not aware of this, but Jameson
  actually owned three of those ... the first one was the most
  famous ...
<rabidviXen> ... the other two replaced it when the engines
  finally packed it in. Rumor has it that these two ships are
  still out there ...
<rabidviXen> ... just waiting for some commander with a mystical
  future to come claim them and all they contain ...
<rabidviXen> ... spooky, eh?
* rabidviXen grins.
<norman_mosser> and then, I've heard that there is an Ouroborous
  Cobra
<Sharn-Lugonn> Uh, stories I've never heard before...
* Bee-Keep cleans the bar again.
<norman_mosser> destined to forever exist in a closed time loop
<rabidviXen>  heard that rumor too. Bullshit.
<rabidviXen> Sheer bollocks.
<norman_mosser> But how can a ship that perfect come into
  existence. It can't just be design?
* rabidviXen worries that the owl is glancing in her direction.
  She pulls out a beam laser and targets the owl.
* norman_mosser stares at his empty glass, and decides that sweat
  is not a pleasant beverage
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Bee-Keep> That's not Old Brown, Jannah.
<Bee-Keep> It's a Guest Owl.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Or the "no relation" Old Brown?
<rabidviXen> Design? Let me tell you about design! I've had a
  team of forty engineers trying to get a microwave oven
  installed in a Eagle Mk. III since the fourth of Moxville last
  year!
<Bee-Keep> Erm, neither.
<rabidviXen> Guest owl?
<rabidviXen> Okay, it lives - for now.
<Bee-Keep> It's a complicated subject.
<norman_mosser> Bee, can I have a gentlemans hat filled with
  perfume and garnished with a plum?
* Bee-Keep thinks.
<Bee-Keep> Yes.
<rabidviXen> The bloody thing can be installed, but the empires
  electrical connections suck.
* Bee-Keep hands Norman a GHFWPAGWAP.
<rabidviXen> I mean, 583 volts, DC ... thats dangerous?
<Bee-Keep> You didn't want it heated, did you?
<norman_mosser> I've had no trouble outfitting my Courier with
  exotic technology
<Sharn-Lugonn> Most likely to humens it is.
<norman_mosser> Thanks Bee
<rabidviXen> I'll take standard electrical connections any day.
  Stick with what  know, 230 volts, AC.
* norman_mosser sips the GHFWPAGWAP daintily
<Sharn-Lugonn> This voltage must have been used from the
  beginning of time.
<Bee-Keep> On and off.
* rabidviXen stares at the sight of a respected commander sucking
  on an impossible (or highly improbable) drink.
<norman_mosser> respected? Egads
<rabidviXen> While we're on the subject of highly improbable
  events. I want to show you all some holoslides I took of my
  last vacation on Reidquat.
* rabidviXen gets out a small holoviewer and loads in a slug.
<rabidviXen> Anyone attempting to leave will run straight into
  the laser defense field I erected over all the windows and
  doors.
<rabidviXen> Okay, first slide!
* Bee-Keep turns off the lights.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Isn't it already dark out there?
* Bee-Keep watches his energy-saving bulb explode.
* rabidviXen the holoemitter displays a scene of utter
  devastation. Its the spaceport, and nearby ships are on fire.
  Standing in the mids of this is me grinning.
<Bee-Keep> Heck. That's what choice does.
<rabidviXen> ... customs annoyed me, so I frelled the main
  building ...
<Bee-Keep> I meant the lightbulb. But anyway.
<rabidviXen> Second slide ...
* rabidviXen shows a scene of several dozen Reidquatians standing
  up against a wall. Their wallets are on the ground before them.
<rabidviXen> Locals were nice enough to pay for my taxi. Amazing
  what a blaster can get you these days?
<rabidviXen> Want to see another?
<Bee-Keep> So... how many of those lists are you on these days?
<rabidviXen> Its your chance to say yea, or nae.
<Bee-Keep> I'm sure I have to ring a number, or something. And
  keep you talking.
<rabidviXen> Oh, about two hundred and seventy at the moment ...
  not counting minor charges like genocide.
* norman_mosser wonders which answe results in yet another
  involuntary trepanning
* Bee-Keep would check the instructions, but it's too dark.
<rabidviXen> Okay ... (sign) you win.
* rabidviXen snaps off he holoemitter and shuts down the laser
  fields.
* Bee-Keep turns the lights on, and goes to replace the
  Energy-Saving bulb.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Really nice pictures. Amazing how cute the people
  on Reidquat are.
<rabidviXen> Those were the good times.
<norman_mosser> back before the trouble started. Agan.
<rabidviXen> Yeah, they're always cute when grinning like that.
<rabidviXen> Bu turn your back, and they become unsettled.
<norman_mosser> sometimes restless
<rabidviXen> (muses) ... unsettled turns to confusion ...
  confusion turns to anger and anger turns to bloody-mindedness.
<rabidviXen> Then they make you pay five times the going rate for
  a shot at the local president.
<rabidviXen> Assassinations are up 43% I see?
* rabidviXen thumbs through a copy of the Reidquatian times.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So there is a constant need to keep an eye on them.
<rabidviXen> Maybe its worth going back there for a weekend or
  two.
<norman_mosser> yeah, I wanted to boost my combat rating a few
  points
<rabidviXen> KaPow! Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
  Heh, heh, heh, heh!
<Sharn-Lugonn> I prefer Phekda for combat purposes.
* rabidviXen wipes a tear from her eye.
<rabidviXen> Those were the GOOD days, I tell you!
<rabidviXen> Hey, Norman?
<norman_mosser> ..and I needed some cash to track down some rare
  spares for my Courier
* rabidviXen slaps norman_mosser around a bit with a large trout
<rabidviXen> Ah, needed that!
<norman_mosser> what?
<norman_mosser> needed what?
<rabidviXen> A little megaviolence.
* Bee-Keep sweeps up.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And the good times changed into worse times?
* norman_mosser places an empty gentlemans hat on the bar
<norman_mosser> A Brown please
* rabidviXen silently pulls out a Hades Grenade and primes it.
<rabidviXen> Bee, what's the status of your insurance?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Ehh.h.
<Bee-Keep> I have no insurance.
* Bee-Keep hands Norman a pint of Brown.
<rabidviXen> Ah, that might be a problem ... you see, there is a
  shape-shifting pan-dimensional lifeform in the corner of the
  room ...
<rabidviXen> ... and its walking around close to the ceiling.
<Bee-Keep> It's a piano. But that's an easy mistake to make.
* norman_mosser steps up behind rabidviXen, plucks the grenade
  from her hand and replaces it with a pineapple
<rabidviXen> so, if its all the same to you, I'll fix the problem
  for you.
<norman_mosser> Thanks for the drink
<Bee-Keep> Unless you're talking about the Mystery Porpoise or
  some other harmless invisible thing that you don't need to
  throw grenades at.
<rabidviXen> Piano? Walking around on the ceiling. Frell! Bee,
  you really ought to have the lights fixed in here!!!
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<rabidviXen> Oh, frell it!
<Bee-Keep> True, but nonetheless.
* rabidviXen throws the pineapple -- it bounces off of the
  ceiling and hits the floor!!!
* rabidviXen dives for the other side of the bar.
<rabidviXen> INCOMING!
* Bee-Keep considers his options.
* Bee-Keep throws a bucket over the grenade.
<norman_mosser> when is a shape-shifting pan-dimensional lifeform
  not a shape-shifting pan-dimensional lifeform?
* Bee-Keep waits.
<rabidviXen> What happened? Normally a Hades Grenade leaves a big
  hole and a lack of hearing?
<Bee-Keep> Heard it.
* norman_mosser considers the comedy value of kicking the bucket
<Bee-Keep> Special Problem-Solving Bucket.
* rabidviXen begins to wise up about Mosser.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That must be high-tech.
<Bee-Keep> I got it from one of those "Useful Household Items"
  catalogs. Unlkike the goat therapy pack, it works.
<rabidviXen> (poking head up over bar edge) I'll have the grenade
  back now. Intact and switched off.
<Bee-Keep> Unless you're talking about the Mystery Porpoise or
  some other harmless invisible thing that you don't need to
  throw grenades at.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Bee-Keep> Erm...
<Bee-Keep> I seem to be repeating myself. Perhaps that's a side
  effect.
<Sharn-Lugonn> A side effect of what?
<Bee-Keep> Just lift up the bucket.
<rabidviXen> Possibly, I noticed a temporal wake on the way in-
* norman_mosser habds over the grenade
<rabidviXen> way in-
<rabidviXen> way in-
<rabidviXen> way in-
<rabidviXen> Dammit!
<rabidviXen> Thanks.
<Bee-Keep> The Problem Solving Bucket. Bucket.
<norman_mosser> Can you put coal in it?
<Sharn-Lugonn> A strange one. I've never seen a bucket with
  side-effects.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Is the coal still inflamable?
<Bee-Keep> Not really. Coal isn't a problem.
<Bee-Keep> Ah...
<rabidviXen> Coal? Nasty stuff. Makes acid rain and pissed off
  northerners.
<Bee-Keep> Problem solved!
<rabidviXen> What problem, the psychotic, burned out commanderess
  or the pineapple?
<Bee-Keep> All I have to do is put the inflammable coal in the
  bucket! It's like one of those adventure stories, but.. not
  like one of those adventure stories.
<Bee-Keep> I must re-subscribe to that catalog.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That would be a wise decision.
<norman_mosser> N
<rabidviXen> "Come to #theelitebar ... all the fun you could
  possibly have and much more besides ... must be 18 or older ..."
<Bee-Keep> I can't remember where it came from. It was junk mail.
* norman_mosser wonders why he hasn't moved north
<rabidviXen> "... see the famous BeeBeeCee piano, the jukebox and
  the swamp."
<Bee-Keep> Mention that we have a cinema screen the size of six
  double-decker busses.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Eh, what music can you select in that jukebox?
* rabidviXen mouths the words "Oh, frell it!" and pulls out a
  magakillazapp 6990 and fires energy bolt after energy bolt into
  the harmless, innocent jukebox.
<rabidviXen> Take that!
<norman_mosser> How many Sidewinders is that?
<Bee-Keep> Thanks. It won't fit into the bucket.
<rabidviXen> It was STARING at me! Bloody thing deserved to die
  (again).
<Bee-Keep> It isnt't mine. That Rob Shazzer left it here.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And again.
* Bee-Keep panics.
<Bee-Keep> Erm, four. Or somthing.
<rabidviXen> Well (recovering and wiping foam from her mouth) the
  jukebox is unreliable.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So you used his absence and destroyed that thing,
  right?
<rabidviXen> Sort of.
<Bee-Keep> I try. It has a hull-auto-repair-system.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Was it really that bad?
<rabidviXen> Actually, its the second time I blasted the damned
  thing since last year.
<norman_mosser> and some really nasty records
<rabidviXen> You're joking, aren't you? I mean: "Return of the
  Los Palmas 7" is not a criminal offense?
<rabidviXen> It is on Diso.
<Sharn-Lugonn> How much weights that hull-auto-repair-system?
<Bee-Keep> Five ounces.
* rabidviXen notices a fly zipping around the room.
<norman_mosser> But, it is inseperable from the jukebox
<Sharn-Lugonn> And is that efficient also for a spaceship?
<Bee-Keep> As Mosser said.
<norman_mosser> and if you install it on your ship you will have
  to listen to the music as well
* rabidviXen moves like greased lightning and catches it beween
  two chop-sticks.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Pity. That sort of high tech is always usable.
* norman_mosser shudders
<rabidviXen> Bee, can you get me a Reidquatian curry (meltdown
  hot) and put this in it, please?
<rabidviXen> Thankx.
<norman_mosser> some high-tech is good. Some is dubious. Illegal
  old-tech is good as well
<Bee-Keep> A Reidquatian curry?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, some old-tech would be better than new. What
  abou Fer-de-Lance?
<Bee-Keep> Is that slang for something? Like a dutch gasket?
<norman_mosser> Indeed. That is good old tech. As is jumpdrive
  technology. Both are highly illegal though
<rabidviXen> Illegal old tech? I've got my hands on a genuine
  computer ... a BBC Microcomputer no less with 65C02
  co-processor, a whole ROM board full of ROM chips, two 40/80
  switchable five and a quarter inch drives. Its not for sale.
<Bee-Keep> I have a gas iron.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I have an illegal Sinclair ZX-Spectrum.
<rabidviXen> I've got a Dodo station, only three hundred years
  old. Antique.
<norman_mosser> I have a speccy as well. 48k of RAM :-)
<rabidviXen> ZX-Spectrum! Then you must be a member of the Inner
  Circle of archane coders known as the Sinclair's!!!
<Sharn-Lugonn> The same.
<norman_mosser> and it crashes less often than Windoze
<rabidviXen> Ram-pack wobble?
<Sharn-Lugonn> But can overheat when on a soft surface.
<rabidviXen> In the good old days, Sinclair constructed a
  computer core with an amazing ability ...
<rabidviXen> ... the first impact with anything whatsoever and
  the RAM just fell clear out.
<norman_mosser> and used bits of the ASCII set for storing BASIC
  commands
<rabidviXen> Ah, I have a couple of technicans who still program
  in BBC BASIC and Assembly Language.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, BASIC is what it really is - basic.
<norman_mosser> And you could run Elite on it
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, I did indeed.
<Bee-Keep> Ah, Elite. That old chestnut.
<rabidviXen> Actually, that said, check out "The BBC Lives!"
  Somebody has created a version of BBC BASIC which runs under
  Windows and allows you to program windows applications using
  6502 programming language.
<rabidviXen> 32K of RAM, incredible!
<Sharn-Lugonn> What about the 16K of ROM?
<rabidviXen> Yes ... Elite. On dark nights when commanders gather
  around camp fires, their ships parked in circles to keep wild
  beasts at bay; there are those among them who whisper of the
  good old days when you had to put up with wire-frame graphics.
<rabidviXen> ... that and Zzap64.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I should install that neat little thing in my
  Moray. Just for the fun of explaining it to the customs
  officers.
<norman_mosser> Considering the time it took to load/save on a
  speccy it is unsurprising that people got good.
<rabidviXen> Indeed, come over and see me some time at Longhaul
  Outpost. We're always eager to see another commander's ship.
<rabidviXen> Spectrum ... ah, remember the Dragon?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Could you give me the coordinates? Yes, remember
  the Dragon.
<rabidviXen> Sure, Diso System ... when the guns open up, you're
  find it easy to pin-point our position.
* rabidviXen grins.
<rabidviXen> We're at the edge of the system, because nobody else
  wanted us on their doorstep.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Sure, I've got it.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Can it be seen on the system map?
<rabidviXen> Don't worry, just tell 'em I sent you and everything
  will be fine.
<rabidviXen> No, we're not offically part of the guild ... I
  purchased the station some years ago when they replaced all of
  the original orbital posts.
<norman_mosser> It is an impressive sight. You wouldn't think it
  could power so many Plasma Accellerators
<Sharn-Lugonn> I have been thinking about the systems like Lave,
  Leesti, Diso, Reidquat... they have just one planet and one
  space outpost. I wonder why.
<norman_mosser> At the same time
<Bee-Keep> Ah, that old one-planet thing.
<Bee-Keep> There's a good reason for that. Or rather, there isn't.
<norman_mosser> The Thargoids stole them
<Sharn-Lugonn> I was born on Lave and got used to it. But then I
  saw all the other systems with so many planets...
<rabidviXen> LHO was being towed out of the system when pirates
  attacked it. The remains were left where they were ransacked
  and I brought it some years later.
<rabidviXen> Got a nice scrap price on it. Took me fifteen years
  of hard work to fix it up.
<rabidviXen> Remember, a Dodo without the bloody arms.
<rabidviXen> me gets psychic <calling BRIANETTA ... are you there
  Brianetta?>
<rabidviXen> Bugger must be asleep.
<Bee-Keep> He's been sleeping for a while now.
*** Brianetta has quit IRC (typhoon.va.us.dal.net toronto.on.ca.da
l.net)
*** rabidviXen has quit IRC (typhoon.va.us.dal.net
toronto.on.ca.dal.net)
<Sharn-Lugonn> An instant change.
<Bee-Keep> Hm.
<Bee-Keep> Been a while since that happened.
<norman_mosser> ?
<Sharn-Lugonn> What happened?
<Bee-Keep> Netsplit. She'll be back.
*** rabidviXen has joined #theelitebar
<rabidviXen> Yes, I'm back.
* norman_mosser looks at the bucket and the coal scuttle
<rabidviXen> Hate those bloody netsplits.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Ah, unreliable
<rabidviXen> Unreliable? Tell me D, does this happen where you're
  from?
<Sharn-Lugonn> No. I haven't experienced it yet.
<rabidviXen> It propably doesn't.
<rabidviXen> Well, welcome to the "net split" club.
<rabidviXen> It can really foul up your evening.
<rabidviXen> Okay people, time check: 16:20 hours here.
<Bee-Keep> This one was local to you and Brianetta.
<rabidviXen> Terrific, probably the CIA or NSA.
<norman_mosser> 22:26 here
*** Brianetta has joined #TheEliteBar
<Sharn-Lugonn> 2326
<Bee-Keep> That wake you up then, Brianetta?
<rabidviXen> \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
<rabidviXen> Brianette!
<rabidviXen> (whoops)
<rabidviXen> Sorry.
<norman_mosser> or do you mean something more technical than
  looking at a clock
<rabidviXen> Late for most of you European people then. Then
  again, its a beautiful sunny afternoon here.
<Sharn-Lugonn> No. Just the clock.
* norman_mosser wonders how Brianetta can log back in considerng
  the fact that he isn't at his computer
* rabidviXen maybe he has auto-login?
<rabidviXen> I really ought to purchase a livecam.
<Bee-Keep> Must be.
* rabidviXen is currently listening to "The Best of the Police"
<Sharn-Lugonn> I do have one, but it is virtually useless.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I am listening to "Deep
<Sharn-Lugonn> Purple
<rabidviXen> I used to have one, but without the software, there
  is no point in using it.
<rabidviXen> Cool.
* norman_mosser is currently listening to 'Wish you were here'
<rabidviXen> Five minutes ago, I was rocking to IRON MAIDEN's
  "Somewhere in time"
<norman_mosser> I have a late seventies Sanyo microphone
  blu-tacked to my monitor
<Sharn-Lugonn> So the jukebox here would be useless in any way.
<rabidviXen> See, we're all musical to one extent or another. Of
  course, if you really want to know what I look like you might
  want to go tohttp://www.xanga.com/home.asp?user=rabidviXen
<norman_mosser> next to the troll and the starcom figure
<rabidviXen> This is my personal log and there is a nice pic of
  me there too.
<norman_mosser> but of course
<rabidviXen> Indeed, the jukebox is useless, period.
<rabidviXen> I mean, if RobShaz wanted to install something
  useful, why not an easy chair with built-in massage features,
  eh?
<Bee-Keep> Back in a moment...
<rabidviXen> Okay.
* Bee-Keep wanders into the back.
<Sharn-Lugonn> What will he bring?
<Sharn-Lugonn> If anything, of course.
<rabidviXen> Oh, the usual ... a lump mallet, a aliothian
  mega-whale and some nice brown bread with real grain in it.
<rabidviXen> He is really quite good at making fresh sandwiches.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I would sure try one.
* Bee-Keep returns.
<rabidviXen> Hi Bee, what do you have? Any sandwiches handy, eh?
* Bee-Keep puts the bread out on the bar.
<rabidviXen> Yay!
<Bee-Keep> Help yourself. Sandwiches? Try these.
<rabidviXen> .me is listening to "The Other Way of Stopping" by
  the Police.
* Bee-Keep puts out a plate of Ambiguity Sandwiches.
* rabidviXen helps herself.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Can I have one?
<rabidviXen> Ah, these are normally VERY good!
<norman_mosser> self-help is good
<rabidviXen> Well worth the three hundred light years I came to
  get 'em!
<Sharn-Lugonn> Really 300 Ly?
<rabidviXen> After all ... the only resturants we have on LHO are
  those "Little Chef's" which have sprung up everywhere.
<rabidviXen> Nasty, NASTY - N A S T Y food.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And what's the menu there?
<rabidviXen> Little Chef?
<rabidviXen> Well, not really much if you're passing through ...
  but if you're command crew, you can get practically anything
  you want.
<rabidviXen> Of course, being in charge, I have all of my food
  shipped in, fresh a couple of months at a time from Diso and
  Zaonce.
* Bee-Keep shudders at the mention of the LC.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I'm thinking of "Pure cold Crater Juice" at the
  moment.
<Bee-Keep> No Crater Juice here.
<rabidviXen> I'm thinking of a white frellmas, but we can't have
  everything we want, can we?
<Sharn-Lugonn> I thought so. No fancy core drinks.
<Bee-Keep> That, and I don't like the Masonic overtones.
* norman_mosser loads JJFFE to check something
<Sharn-Lugonn> I wonder what needs to be checked so precisely.
<rabidviXen> Good point. You grab him when he comes back and I'll
  stick a blaster where the sun don't shine.
<rabidviXen> That should get us the answers we need.
<norman_mosser> Only 300?, I travelled 8143.52 Light years to get
  here
<Sharn-Lugonn> Isn't that a bit - unpleasant?
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<rabidviXen> Extremely - for him, but I enjoy it!
<Sharn-Lugonn> And what was the location distant 8143.52 Ly?
<rabidviXen> Hi Norman, hey, guess what? I used a wormhole bug to
  get here.
* rabidviXen disappears off to the ladies room to stir up some
  trouble.
<norman_mosser> It is the Waolin System (-998,210)
<norman_mosser> some reprobate abandoned me there
<Sharn-Lugonn> I've never been there. I usually do the positive
  coordinates.
<norman_mosser> I didn't visit through choice - read the fiction
  threads on Alioth.net
<Sharn-Lugonn> I've experienced some strange things when using
  hyperspace several times...
<norman_mosser> mis-jumps?
<Sharn-Lugonn> No, something better.
<norman_mosser> what?
<Sharn-Lugonn> I happened to get to the destination just a few
  hours before I actually hit the Hyperspace button!
* rabidviXen rolls backwards out of the ladies room, followed by
  an enormous ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Plastic and plaster
  shower from from the ceiling.
* rabidviXen follows it up with concentrated blaster fire tearing
  the door frame apart!
<Bee-Keep> I'm really glad that Ladies Room doesn't exist,
  because I'd be losing a fortune on plaster.
<Bee-Keep> These notional rooms are worth the hire fee.
<norman_mosser> Oh, the less than one day jump. It happens when
  you jump a short distance.
<rabidviXen> You mean, I've been having a piss in a non-existant
  pan-dimensional broom closet then?
<norman_mosser> something to do with drive tuning. Apparently if
  you jump a short enough distance you can travel back in time
<Bee-Keep> Well... I don't know about the mechanics of it.
* rabidviXen follows this with more blaster fire. Finally a very
  dead alien lifeform flops out onto the floor.
<Sharn-Lugonn> I mean I got back in time, not that the trip's
  duration was a few hours.
<rabidviXen> See! See, what did I tell ya
<rabidviXen> !
<Bee-Keep> I'm not sure what their poilcy on that is.
<Bee-Keep> I hope you didn't violate some condition of the lease.
<norman_mosser> is it a generic dead alien?
<Bee-Keep> I have to say I didn't read all the small print.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Looks like one.
<rabidviXen> No, I swear on a stack of planters peanuts, this
  thing attacked me first! It was self-defense!
<Bee-Keep> Perhaps it'll go well with the Ambiguity sandwiches.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<rabidviXen> Who knows? Who cares? Only five people here and one
  of them is "unavailable for the duration" plus our dead alien.
* rabidviXen blinks.
<Bee-Keep> It looks like it's made out of cardboard, tinsle and
  loft insulation.
<norman_mosser> how do you know it's an aliem. It might be native
  to Nirvana
<Sharn-Lugonn> Just a moment, I forgot to turn off the scanner on
  my Moray. Consumes batteries.
<rabidviXen> Its got to be alien! I mean, look its carrying a
  "Avon" card for judas's sake!
<norman_mosser> like the squirrels
<Bee-Keep> No-one buys silver and gold banded tinsle here. It's
  not right, somehow.
<rabidviXen> Nobody on any of the human worlds sells Avon
  products anymore, you know that, right?
<Sharn-Lugonn> It's off now, though batteries quite depleted.
<Bee-Keep> Our local Avon salesman was lynched in 2756.
<norman_mosser> my next door neigbour does
<rabidviXen> See if there is a pink spaceship parked outside,
  will ya? If there is, its definitely an Avon representive!
<Bee-Keep> But that's in the past, Norman. Things were different
  then.
<norman_mosser> there is an underground network keeping the faith
  until the time of Avon salespersons returns
<Sharn-Lugonn> But it is dark out there.
<norman_mosser> Of course. And the future is reserved for
  Jameson's return
<Bee-Keep> And potentially quite wet.
<rabidviXen> Think thats bad, eh? We spaced all of the Norway
  Products salespeople five years ago. Just abandoned the station
  and opened all the locks directly into space.
* norman_mosser opens the door and throws a phosphorous grenade
  out
<Sharn-Lugonn> A quick way to deal with unpleasant persons. I
  like it.
<norman_mosser> venting your anger eh?
<rabidviXen> Sort of. It was the only logical course of action.
<norman_mosser> I prefer encouraging people to experiment in
  manpowered flight off tall buildings
<Bee-Keep> Those things are bad for the otters, Norman.
<Bee-Keep> There's a law against that now.
<rabidviXen> After all, we tried to trick them into coming out
  with all-night "executives" parties and whist drives.
* Bee-Keep switches on the outside light.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So what do we see...
* rabidviXen peers around outside.
<Bee-Keep> Ah, Whist. One of the few people I've ever hit with a
  soup spoon used to play Whist.
<rabidviXen> Yes ... disgusting but we were willing to take that
  risk.
<Bee-Keep> Ah...Low-pressure sodium...
<Sharn-Lugonn> makes that yellow-orange light.
<rabidviXen> Its a tough universe ... there are all sorts of
  things out there, trying to do you and kill you and sell you
  Avon products that simply do not color coordinate with my
  shipsuit.
<norman_mosser> I have played whist on occaision. and Bridge
<Bee-Keep> The king of outdoor lighting. Well, when there's one
  light in 700 miles, anyway.
* rabidviXen looks at Norman for a moment.
<norman_mosser> they don't colour co-ordinate with black?
<rabidviXen> You're even sicker than I imagine?
<rabidviXen> Ha-Bloody-Ha.
<Bee-Keep> Otherwise it's a right annoyance. If asethetically
  pleasing in some regards.
<rabidviXen> I had to shoot one of them in the foot years ago
  because she would not get it out of the door frame.
<rabidviXen> Got the most enormous laugh as she hopped away.
  "Come again!" I called out to her retreating back.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, when someone doesn't accept the easy way,
  then it's harder for him.
<norman_mosser> a point of reference for those lowly commanders
  who try landing on the spaceport beacon and submerging their
  craft
* norman_mosser remembers spending a week pulling trout out of
  his fuel scoop
* Bee-Keep turns the outside light off, because no-one seems to
  be going anywhere.
* rabidviXen finishes looking around.
*** Stoo has joined #TheEliteBar
<Bee-Keep> But they come in handy later.
<rabidviXen> No sign of a bright pink spaceship, so its obviously
  not a Avn salesalien.
<Stoo> Greets.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So what the hell was it?
<rabidviXen> Greetings, Stoo. Welcome to the elite bar.
<Bee-Keep> Evening.
<rabidviXen> No idea, but Bee seems to think it needs batteries?
* norman_mosser slaps rabidviXen with a large trout
<norman_mosser> Hi
<rabidviXen> Oh!
* Stoo orders a Klens Um.
* rabidviXen slaps norman_mosser around a bit with a large trout
* Bee-Keep hands Stewart a pint of Brown.
* rabidviXen slaps norman_mosser around a bit with a large trout
<Bee-Keep> Oh.
<rabidviXen> Oh, aye!
* norman_mosser decides that he doesn't want to know what it is
<Stoo> Okay, a Brown will do.
* Bee-Keep hands Stoo a - right you are.
* Bee-Keep drinks the Klens himself.
<rabidviXen> So, Stoo, whats happening out there in the big old
  universe?
* Bee-Keep remembers something, and retreats breifly to the back.
* Bee-Keep returns.
<Stoo> Erm, I'm still awaiting promotion to the giddy heights of
  Sergeant-Major.
<Bee-Keep> Batteries?
<Stoo> Other than that, bureaucracy is still rife.
<rabidviXen>  Oh, interesting ... anything else? Any wars what
  need mercenaries?
<norman_mosser> I left the federal Military when I was a corporeal
<rabidviXen> I mean, you have three worm-out psychotic commanders
  here with nothing else to do.
<Stoo> Corporeal? Better than leaving it dead.
<norman_mosser> I'm not worn out. I'm only Deadly, I still have
  purpose
<rabidviXen> I left Marks and Sparks when they realized that I
  was wearing three sweaters and two sets of underwear.
<norman_mosser> Stoo: true. Being dead is hassle
<Sharn-Lugonn> And I left the Imps when I got to the Lord.
* norman_mosser rubs a circular scar in his forehead
<rabidviXen> (drunk) Being arrested in Scunthorph is worse.
<rabidviXen> Of course, head-butting a sergeant and kiccking him
  the balls to worse. I then made good my escape.
* Stoo sups the Klens - er, Brown.
* rabidviXen grins.
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And I did the military jobs just for my elite
  rating - the recon missions proved best.
<norman_mosser> do you have any Mr Sunshine on tap?
<rabidviXen> Okay ... then you lot are obviously NOT galactic
  scurges then.
<norman_mosser> Police baiting helps as well
<Bee-Keep> I use that to clean silver.
<rabidviXen> Police baiting is fine unless you happen to come to
  LHO. We don't have any police.
<Bee-Keep> That is, - oh, nevermind.
<norman_mosser> just pour me the drink bee
<Bee-Keep> Mr. Sunshine?
<Sharn-Lugonn> But the police are completely incapable of flying
  out of the space station!
<Bee-Keep> Hm... triple meaning.
<norman_mosser> true, you just use plasma accellerators. Yes Bee
<norman_mosser> thanks
<rabidviXen> No, we have some very well trained combat pilots and
  attack fighters in case the police show up. Bloody bunch of
  idiots ... (grumble)
<Bee-Keep> I don't use Mr. Sunshine to clean silver. I wasn't -
<Bee-Keep> Anyway.
* Bee-Keep pours Norman a glass of Mr. Sunshine.
<rabidviXen> Bee, this beverage smells like ammonia? Sure its
  from Diso?
<norman_mosser> it is very, er yellow
* norman_mosser sips it
<Sharn-Lugonn> It's not ammonia, but Lithium.
<Bee-Keep> Which beverage? I've lost track.
<rabidviXen> Lithium? Frell, thats my diet gone then!
<Bee-Keep> Did I tell you about the Mr. Sunshine problem? The
  company was taken over by one that makes rubber tubes.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, you mentioned a few hours ago.
<rabidviXen> Oh, this beverage here ... which I thought you had
  poured for me (wiseing us) What is it?
<Bee-Keep> But not to him.
<Bee-Keep> You're asking _me_?
* rabidviXen gets up and walks outside.
* norman_mosser puts 3 credits on the bar
<Bee-Keep> Thanks. Always appricated.
* rabidviXen makes SFX: Sound of distant retching followed by
  blaster fire and finally a large explosion.
<Bee-Keep> App-ree-cee-ate-ed.
* rabidviXen comes back in.
<norman_mosser> am I missinf parts of the conversation or is
  disjointed naturally
<rabidviXen> Bloody squirrels will eat anything.
<Bee-Keep> Very true.
<Bee-Keep> To both.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Are the squirrels sociable? I haven't seen them
  yet.
<norman_mosser> I thought they were red squirrels, not bloody
* Bee-Keep blinks.
* rabidviXen slaps a red squirrels tail down on the counter.
<Bee-Keep> That's a fake.
<rabidviXen> Sociable, yes. I was throwing up when one of them
  tried to steal my wallet.
<Bee-Keep> You've been done. I'd complain if I were you.
<rabidviXen> I had to discourage the little bastard.
<norman_mosser> look, it's a grey squirrels tail painted red
<Bee-Keep> It was probably - as I was about to say.
<Sharn-Lugonn> And would it help in any way?
<Bee-Keep> To do what? Sing? It always helps to sing.
<rabidviXen> Makes no difference to me. Use it as a bar-wipe for
  all I care, Bee.
* norman_mosser looks in the direction of Stoo
<Bee-Keep> Especially in a jaunty Volksmusik kind of way.
* rabidviXen looks in Stoo's direction too.
* Bee-Keep waits.
<Sharn-Lugonn> No, to complain. That doesn't help much,
  especially when there's noone who could do something about it.
<rabidviXen> Is he normally this quiet?
<Bee-Keep> Who?
<rabidviXen> Stoo.
* norman_mosser strolls over, tips the remainder of his glass of
  Mr Sunshine on Stoo's head and sets light to it
* rabidviXen sits down and considers writing a nice letter to
  those people at Imperial Brown Ale ...
<Bee-Keep> Ack.
<rabidviXen> ... Nah, I'll just send 'em a nice total annilation
  device for frellmas instead.
<norman_mosser> the Empire makes Ale? I thought they only made
  Lager. And Capitol Vodka
<Bee-Keep> Good. Although I didn't say that.
<Bee-Keep> It is lager.
<Sharn-Lugonn> So how they DARE to call it Ale?
<rabidviXen> The TAD, guaranteed to wipe the smile off of an
  enemies face. What's a girl to do without heavy armament?
<Bee-Keep> They write the trades description act.
<rabidviXen> No idea, but the point is, somebody has got to die
  for that.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, a nice organised erhm, "visit" of Capitol
  would do the trick.
<rabidviXen> With or without a travel permit fr 50,000 heavilly
  armed star cruisers?
* norman_mosser wondersn if Imperial 'Lager' is in fact Slave
  piss mixed with methanol
<rabidviXen> Probbly.
<Bee-Keep> Methanol might be an improvement.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That's for the side effects.
* norman_mosser looks at stoo again. The flames have died down,
  and their is a smell of burnt hair in the air
<Bee-Keep> He's not well, clearly.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Permit doesn't matter. I never use this junk.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Would you mind if I opened a window? I do not like
  the smell of burnt hair.
<Bee-Keep> By all means.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Ok then.
<Bee-Keep> Or, you could put the bucket over his head.
* norman_mosser looks at rabidviXen in an odd way. He tenses up
<Bee-Keep> That would solve the problem, it being a
  Problem-Solving Bucket, and all.
<Bee-Keep> Are you alright there, Norman? You look tense.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Yes, the high-tech always works.
<rabidviXen> I am not responsible for the burnt hair ... the
  total raising of Topaz three years ago, however ...
<norman_mosser> Is the pineapple still inside?
* Bee-Keep blinks.
<Bee-Keep> That's a fantastic question, or at least it was until
  I worked out what it was about.
* norman_mosser relaxes, the percieved danger apparently passed
<rabidviXen> Pineapple? Which one, the one in the bucket or the
  one I'm bouncing inmy left hand, eh?
* rabidviXen flips a FRELL GRENADE too and fro.
<norman_mosser> It must be a rite of passage for commanders or
  something. each one has to cause some major act of violence or
  international incident at some point in their career
<rabidviXen> Guaranteed to suck the paint off of your ship and
  provide your wingman with a permament orange afro.
<rabidviXen> Of course, I can always roll it outside ...
* rabidviXen primes the free grenade and rolls it out of the open
  doorway.
* norman_mosser 's hand slides down to the holster of his Arctic
  Eagle laser pistol
* rabidviXen waits for the familiar PHRUMP! followed by a
  BeeBeeCee rocking vibration.
<Bee-Keep> That doesn't do the otters any good either.
* rabidviXen slides her hand down the back of Norman Mosser's
  pants and grabs his hairy ass.
<Bee-Keep> Neither does that.
<rabidviXen> Wasn't expecting that, eh? Give me the gun.
<rabidviXen> Or, I'll pull 'em out one at a time.
<norman_mosser> no donkey's down there lady
<rabidviXen> The gun, if you please?
* norman_mosser reluctantly hands over the gun
<norman_mosser> Did you know that your hands are uncommonly cold
* rabidviXen hears a ever-so-familiar "Zingggggggg" noise and
  notices a killazapp next to left ear.
<rabidviXen> Thanks.
* rabidviXen removes her hand and then wipes it on the back of
  Mosser's shirt.
<norman_mosser> excuse me
<rabidviXen> Oh, nasty - naughty left hand ... always getting
  that gun out, it is.
* rabidviXen puts the gun away.
<Bee-Keep> That's that settled, then.
* norman_mosser nips through the rear door and makes for the
  outhouse
* Bee-Keep turns the outside light on.
<rabidviXen> Ah, violence is so satisfying. We could bottle this
  you know and make our own soap-opera.
* rabidviXen listens for a distant SFX: Ka-Booooooommmmmmmmmmmm!
<rabidviXen> That was probably the outhouse. I primed it if
  Mosser's DNA was detected.
<Bee-Keep> Soap-Opera.
* norman_mosser returns, carrying his oft-touted Imperial made GVG
<rabidviXen> Whatever.
<Bee-Keep> Bottled soap? There's a thought.
<rabidviXen> Yes, an enterprising one at that.
* rabidviXen turns to Mosser.
<rabidviXen> Still alive?
<Sharn-Lugonn> Looks like.
<rabidviXen> Bugger.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Invincible.
* Bee-Keep goes back to the Calor Gas Monthly crossword.
* norman_mosser taps a few buttons on the GVG. A female voice
  says 'Minimum safe distance, two hundred metres'
<norman_mosser> Nah
* norman_mosser taps some more. the GVG extrudes an extra four
  barrels
<Sharn-Lugonn> And my Moray is just 199 metres away...
<norman_mosser> Sharn: nope, just damn lucky. The toilet roll
  holder deflected the blast away from me
<rabidviXen> This is where my personal teleportation device comes
  in handy.
<Sharn-Lugonn> That's quite a big portion of luck.
* rabidviXen looks at her chronometer and notices that the big
  hand is a little bit before the small hand, meaning its time to
  frell some unsuspecting pirates into their own personal hell.
<norman_mosser> sometimes it is luck, sometimes it is skill
<rabidviXen> Have to go. Sorry folks, but its time for the vixen
  to get rabid.
<Bee-Keep> Right.
* rabidviXen activates the teleporter.
<norman_mosser> the rest of the time it is superior firepower.
<Bee-Keep> Bye!
<rabidviXen> BYE!!!
<Sharn-Lugonn> bye!
*** rabidviXen has quit IRC (Quit: )
* Bee-Keep collects the empty glasses.
<norman_mosser> farewell!
<norman_mosser> I think you need to put batteries in the
  controller
<norman_mosser> maybe not
* Bee-Keep glances at his glow-in-the-dark sundial.
<Sharn-Lugonn> Oh, the controller?
<Sharn-Lugonn> A nice piece, this sundial.
<Sharn-Lugonn> You don't see many these days...
<Bee-Keep> Great, isn't it.
<norman_mosser> glow in the dark? is it radioactive
<Sharn-Lugonn> That glow is just fascinating!
<Bee-Keep> If it didn't glow, you wouldn't be able to tell what
  time it was in the dark.
<Bee-Keep> Very useful.
<norman_mosser> entrancing even
* Brianetta is here now
<Brianetta> I was at Tesco
<Sharn-Lugonn> Unless you have a torchlight or such thing.
* norman_mosser 's eyes become glazed
<Bee-Keep> Anyway, I'm afraid I'll have to be calling it a night
  now.
<Sharn-Lugonn> These stores still exist?
<Bee-Keep> Good timing, Brianetta ;-)
<Bee-Keep> At this time? What were you doing, loitering?
<Brianetta> Sharn-Lugonn: They bought out every other chain.
<norman_mosser> In the more barbaric frontier systems
<Brianetta> I was purchasing snacks for X-Con tomorrow
* Brianetta is off to Jodrell Bank Radio Observatory
<Brianetta> To meet Egosoft and the other X fans
<Bee-Keep> Hm.
<norman_mosser> BTF?
<Brianetta>  -Tension
<Brianetta> Yeah, and -BTF to a lesser extent
<Brianetta> X2 is being previewed on the big screen in the
  planetarium
<norman_mosser> Got put off by that game, for the way it used the
  word 'Frontier' in the title
* Brianetta shrugs
<Brianetta> It's a better game in a lot of respects
* Brianetta has an NDA with Egosoft
<norman_mosser> open-endedness?
* Brianetta develops missions
<Brianetta> X-Tension is the open ended one
<Brianetta> No plot
* Stoo orders another Brown.
<norman_mosser> ah
<Brianetta> Missions added from time to time (written by people
  like me)
<norman_mosser> and made downloadable?
<Brianetta> Added with the patches
<Brianetta> X-Tension Version 2.1 is the latest, and hundreds of
  times better than the one you get on the CD
<Bee-Keep> Sharn (for explaination)> There is a point where TEB
  reaches "Critical Mass" and gets slightly less fictional. That
  point is usually about now ;-)
<Brianetta> New features, new ships, new equipment
<Bee-Keep> Which is about when I decide to leave, anyway. No
  connection.
<Bee-Keep> Open Ended?
<Brianetta> Like Elite
<norman_mosser> so all the addons that the FEU community want but
  can't get due to having such an old-tech game
<Sharn-Lugonn> I will do the same in just about a minute.
<Brianetta> No plot, just trade, fight, build, think
<Brianetta> Everything BTF was supposed to be
<Bee-Keep> Hmmm...
<Brianetta> With missions and miniquests
* Bee-Keep hands Stoo another Brown.
<Brianetta> It's so cool
<Bee-Keep> Sounds a little like TEP ;-)
<Brianetta> It's less vapour than TEP.  Also, there's not even a
  nod toward Newton.
<Bee-Keep> I know it's less vapour ;-) That's sort of implicit in
  every comparison with TEP.
<Brianetta> Hit an asteroid, and it moves.
<Brianetta> It stops.
<norman_mosser> not even the slightest inclination of the head?
<Brianetta> Your craft steers like it was on rails
<Brianetta> You can hit a planet, but if you're careful you can
  get really close, and see its surface move past you as it turns
<Bee-Keep> Although there was a time when we were comparing the
  glimmer-in-the-eye incarnation of X with our plans for TEP.
<Brianetta> Sometimes, there are two or three planets right next
  to each other.
<Brianetta> I remember thinking X was vapour in 1995
<Brianetta> WHen I saw the first rolling demo
<Brianetta> "Too good to be true," I thought
<norman_mosser> I didn't have a PC in 1995
<Brianetta> Now I have experienced the horror of facing a hostile
  Xenon destroyer in a small recon fighter
<norman_mosser> nope, tell a lie, my dad got his first pc in late
  95
<Brianetta> It could outrun me ):
<norman_mosser> outshoot?
<Bee-Keep> Anyway, I'll leave you all to your reminiscence. Sharn
  - once again, welcome to TEB. Hope to see you in the future.
  Night all.
*** Bee-Keep has left #theelitebar
* norman_mosser had to take on a shielded Panther Clipper in FE2
  with an Eagle and a 1MW pulse laser
<Sharn-Lugonn> All right, my fellow commanders, see you in a
  fourtnight's time!
*** Disconnected
End of #theelitebar buffer    Sat Oct 20 00:49:55 2001