Armageddon

as a result of keeping domestic animals

Dinosaurs - what really happened? A unique view 65×10⁶ years into the past

Jacques Timothy de Marque is a scientist, who is the author of one new, fresh and clean theory. This distinctive Frenchman has the opinion, that dinosaurs 65000000 years ago weren't killed by a meteorite or a global disaster, but by the "winds". Jacques Timothy de Marque claims, that dinosaurs' "winds" contained such a large amount of methane, that the result of their digestion slowly destroyed the whole ozone layer. A dinosaur weighing 80 to 100 tons daily consumed 130 to 260 kilograms of food and therefore had to release "winds" all the time. And this theory doesn't have to be throwed away, because it is known, that also the "winds" of current cattle contain so much methane, that they are an important cause of the greenhouse effect. During an exhibition in Switzerland, de Marque showed the public his unique new experimental model of prehistoric atmosperical situation in connection with dinosaurs and a model of current situation with domestic animals, whose main mesage is to warn the mankind against possible catastrophical consequencies of keeping domestic animals.
And here's our scientist, who will show and explain us the principle of his own new revolutionary model.
S.S.W.:"Good day, we are from the most popular news, The Sick Sad World."
J.T.d.M.:"Good day, I am very glad I can welcome you here! I can promise that my presentation will be very instructive and interesting. So please sit down and keep attention. The lesson begins. This is our mother Earth 65000000 years ago. And here, right above it is the cause of the destruction. What is it, kids? That's a dinosaur, of course. He has a miniature digestion mechanism built-in, so when he starts releasing gases, my children, don't panic. It is possible that he will be stinking a bit, but that won't discourage you. You ARE scintists, aren't you? Let's dive into the atmosphere of prehistoric world. You see, the air is clean and it is quiet. But here's our insatiable dinosaur. Here's how it gulps down one mouthful after another. (he stuffed a crumbled piece of grass into its mouth) Nothing happens just now. But what will happen? We'll see in a minute! (after five minutes) Do you hear it? It has just begun to hiss! (and really! under the model of the dinosaur a cloud of a stinking gas begins to accumulate) METHANE! (points dramatically to innocently-looking little cloud). That's the killer! And now it is covering the whole globe. It's not just the odor would kill everyone, but have a look at how the atmosphere changes its color! And the ozone is gone! Well, do you have any questions regarding the presentation?"
S.S.W.:"So it looks like similar also today?"
J.T.d.M.:"That's right. I can show you the functionality of the model when we change this dinosaur for this cow. But the principle is the same, so I don't think we should make the same thing again. I would like the people to take this as a warning. So our motto: Better green grass than a cow mass! Don't forget!"
S.S.W.:"Oh, we really need not, this portion of unpleasant odor was more than enough for us. So if we were all vegetarians, would the problem be solved?"
J.T.d.M.:"Most likely, no. We all would have to be pure vegetarians. But I think that if this population explosion continues also in the future, we will end up just like the dinosaurs."
S.S.W.:"That is really a tragic vision. So farewell and we wish you a great success with your brilliant theory."

What are these flying creatures? Are they just harmless squirrels, or blood-thirsty bats? Next time in the Sick Sad World: Bats' vile diguise.